


First Time for Everything

by IvyCpher



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Aftercare, Explicit Sexual Content, First Time, Human Sides (Sanders Sides), Insecure Logic | Logan Sanders, M/M, Making Out, Porn with Feelings, Praise Kink, Top Morality | Patton Sanders, Trans Logic | Logan Sanders, Trans Male Logic | Logan Sanders, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-09
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:33:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26375791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IvyCpher/pseuds/IvyCpher
Summary: Despite being with his boyfriend, Patton, for so long he and Logan have not had sex yet. It's not because they don't want to, but because Logan is insecure and embarrassed about his body. Logan finally pushes past his feelings, however, and is ready to have sex with Patton.
Relationships: Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Comments: 4
Kudos: 40





	First Time for Everything

They were in Logan’s room and Patton was kissing him so much that Logan forgot to breathe. Logan’s eyes were closed but he just knew that his glasses were fogged up from how much they were kissing, not that he minded of course. Logan loved making out with Patton, they did it a lot.

Logan had his arms loosely about Patton's shoulders, holding him close as they kissed. He could feel the heat of Patton's palms through his shirt and when Patton moved his hands down his chest he could feel himself aching for more of his touch. Finally, Logan pulled away from Patton, and while gasping quietly for breath, he spoke. "I'm…" He hesitated before taking a large breath. "I'm ready to have sex."

In a second Patton's eyes lit up, "Are you sure?" He asked, bringing his hand up to cup Logan's cheek. "I don't- I don't want you to do things just to make me happy."

Leaning into Patton's touch, Logan shook his head softly. "No, I want to."

Despite having dated for just over a year, Logan and Patton had never had sex with each other. It wasn't that they didn't want to, however, but Logan just wasn't ready for it.

Logan was a trans man, it took him many years to realize it. For the longest time he thought he just lacked a connection to femininity and was perhaps gender-noncomforming, but after never truly feeling comfortable in 'girls' clothes for the whole of his life he gave more masculine outfits a shot and was surprised with the sheer euphoria he got by wearing them. Shortly after, he did a little digging and asked his online friend Janus (who just so happened to be a trans man) about his own gender experience and how he knew he wasn't the gender he was assigned as at birth. It took some time, but Logan finally figured out that he was a man too.

But despite being a late bloomer at figuring out his gender and even transitioning for years, Logan couldn't find it in himself to like his body. He received top surgery and was on testosterone for a matter of years, but he just wasn't pleased with how he looked. More so, Logan didn't know what he  _ wanted  _ to look like and he was embarrassed about it. He tried working out and while he liked how it made him feel and made him pass more, he still didn't really know what to think of himself when he looked in the mirror. His body- well, while it was  _ his body  _ there was nothing about his physical appearance that made Logan feel like it was really his body.

And while Logan had not undergone bottom surgery, nor did he really want to due to his lack of dysphoria down there and just not being fond of anymore surgeries, he still felt almost-  _ detached  _ from himself. He found it so humiliating that even when he was the happiest he had ever been with his body that he still couldn't enjoy it. Maybe it was because of low self esteem or because of how he struggled for so long with not knowing that he wasn't a girl, but he just couldn't understand how he felt.

That was the reason why Logan had not had sex with Patton yet, despite both of them wanting to. He just couldn't fathom being naked with Patton in that way. He would be so vulnerable and- he was scared to be. It wasn't that Logan didn't trust Patton, he trusted him with his life and then some, but he didn't want to show him his body when he himself didn't enjoy it.

But Logan knew that waiting until he truly liked his body until he had sex with Patton was selfish, not just Patton but to himself as well. He  _ wanted _ to have sex and Patton did too, they had talked about it a handful of times- so… Logan didn't want to put it off anymore. He just wanted to let go and try it, but even though he wanted to have sex that didn't mean that he wasn't still scared to have it. He had never done it after all, not even before he transitioned.

Patton looked at Logan carefully before leaning in and giving him a slow kiss. "Okay," He breathed against his lips. "Do you want a safeword?"

Thinking for a second, Logan nodded. While he trusted Patton to stop if he didn't like what was happening or was in pain, he didn't see anything wrong with having one just in case. "What about…" He closed his eyes, all the words that came to mind were incredibly silly. "Jupiter?" He slowly opened his eyes again and looked at Patton.

With a soft smile, Patton kissed Logan again. "Okay." Slowly, he took his hand off Logan’s cheek and scooted away from him, giving him space on the bed. "Do you have- um…" He gestured vaguely. "I didn't bring anything."

Sitting up in bed, Logan felt his face heat up. "I do have lube," His eyes went to his nightstand. "But I don't have any condoms. I figured since-" He carefully touched his arm where if he pressed down he could feel the birth control implant. "Well, since I have the implant and you're not sleeping with anyone else, I thought we would be safe." He hesitated, dropping his hand from his arm and looking up at Patton. "But if you would feel better if we used a condom, I wouldn't mind going to the store to buy a box."

With a shake of his head, Patton reached out and put his hand on Logan's knee. "No, that works for me. If you're comfortable with it, Lo, then I'm comfortable with it too." He smiled, then leaned forward awkwardly to press a kiss to Logan's cheek. As he sat back up, he looked at Logan lovingly. "If you get the lube out, then I can start getting undressed. I wouldn't want to go rifling in your drawers for it."

Hearing that made Logan laugh, he covered his mouth and forced his laughter away. "We've been together for a year and are about to have sex but  _ you're  _ worried about looking through my things?" He asked, smiling. "I'm sure you know what's in every drawer here." He said, leaning over the bed to open the drawer.

Blushing, Patton rubbed the back of his neck. "Well yeah, I do, but a nightstand drawer is really personal, it's on a whole different level than a kitchen junk drawer." He pulled off his shirt, knocking his glasses askew. "I don't want to go looking through your personal things without your permission at least, I mean- it would be different if we lived together." He fixed his glasses, tossing his shirt onto the floor.

With a roll of his eyes, Logan sat back up from grabbing the lube and closed his drawer. "Oh, please," He set the lube beside him on the bed, "You as good as live with me anyways. There isn't a moment that you're not here." He shrugged, his hands going to the bottom of his shirt before he slowly took it off too. "You might- well, you might as well move in by this point."

"You really want me to?" Asked Patton brightly. "Make it official and everything?"

Holding his shirt to his chest, Logan nodded slowly, "Yes- I uh… I would really enjoy you officially living with me." Smiling nervously, he dropped his shirt to the floor as well. "I would love to file my taxes with you."

"Aw, Lolo, that's so sweet." Patton cooed as he crawled across the bed and carefully straddled Logan, with his arms on either side of him. "Especially since I don't know how to file my own taxes."

Logan was going to ask Patton if he was joking about not knowing how to file his taxes, but he found himself not caring about it when Patton kissed him. His hands traveled down Patton's chest until he placed them on his hips. Before he could really get into the kiss, however, Patton pulled away and began to leave a slow trail of kisses down his jaw and then to his neck.

"Do you like that?" Patton asked quietly as Logan threw his head back into his pillows, sighing softly. When Patton received no answer, he tipped Logan's chin up and kissed at the base of his neck, not hesitating to gently nip under his chin. "I said, do you like that?"

Giving out a small moan, Logan closed his eyes tightly, "Y-Yes," He gasped, moving one of his hands back up to tangle it in Patton's curly hair. "I like it."

"Good," Just briefly, Patton stopped kissing Logan's neck to give a proper kiss on the lips. Then he was back to kissing Logan's neck, here and there, and everywhere else his lips could reach. Every time Patton kissed him, Logan felt a shiver go down his spine. It was like his lips were hot and cold all at once for how they made his skin tingle and burn. "How are you doing?" Patton asked with his lips still against Logan's neck. "Do you want me to leave any marks on you?"

It took Logan a moment to think of how to answer, his mind was too distracted by the feeling of Patton kissing him. He must've taken too long to answer though because Patton stopped kissing him. "I'm good," He said finally, his eyes fluttering open. "And I-I don't mind any marks."

At hearing that Logan was okay, Patton smiled softly and the got back to work pressing a number of kisses to his neck and even venturing across his chest.

_ God,  _ to Logan it felt so good that he wanted to scold himself for ever being scared. His fingers tightened in Patton's hair as he sucked hard on his shoulder, probably leaving a small bruise where his mouth had been, but Logan didn't care. He loved the feeling he was met with when Patton was littering his skin with hickies far more than when Patton was just kissing him. He felt a wetness welling up between his legs and wanted nothing more than to have Patton then, but he knew that if he took things slow he could feel as good as he felt then for longer.

As Patton busied himself with leaving a wonderful assortment of bruises and kisses on his skin, Logan was beginning to feel needier. He had of course felt needy for Patton before, but it was never that bad, like he would give up anything and everything in the world just to feel Patton inside him. Desperate for any kind of friction, Logan grinded upwards against Patton. He moaned when he felt just how hard he was. "Patton-" He whined, the single hand on Patton's waist moving forward to the zipper of his pants. " _ Please." _

That got Patton to stop in a second. He pulled away from Logan, licking his lips. "Yes, Lolo?" He asked slowly, running a finger down Logan's jaw. "What do you need?"

Looking up at him, Logan had never seen Patton look that way. He looked hungry almost as he stared down at him with his pupils blown. Logan felt his whole body shiver just from the way Patton was looking at him. He could feel his heart racing a mile a minute in his chest and his face felt like it was in a hot oven. "I want  _ you, _ " He whimpered, grinding against him again. "Please, Patton. God-" He breathed heavily, "I-I need you, really need you. I've been waiting so long and it feels so good, just  _ please."  _ He pleaded, unable to think of anything else in the world but how good it would feel to have Patton inside him.

"Anything for you, baby," Patton sighed, leaning his hips down into Logan, causing him to whimper loudly. After kissing Logan once more, he sat up and hurriedly began to undo the zipper of his pants.

Under him, Logan pushed himself into the mattress as much as he could so he too could remove his pants without having Patton to get off him. He was so hot that when he slid his pants off his hips he gasped at the cool air that met his skin. He couldn't get his pants down far, just above his knees, but he managed to rip one leg out of its pant hole so he could move freely.

Above him, Patton had struggled free from his pants as well. "Logan, you're so handsome." He said quietly. Logan had no idea it was possible, but at the simple compliment he could have sworn he felt his heart beat faster. "You look so nice, all red and pretty. God, your eyes are so  _ big." _

Logan had always been a sucker for Patton's compliments, right then was no exception. They made him writher under Patton and made him feel nearly as good as his kisses had. "Thank you." He whispered, his eyes darting to Patton's cock. He licked his lips and raised his hips a little, wanting Patton more than anything.

With his pants off, Patton was freely able to get close to Logan, but he did not dare enter him yet. "Just a second," He reached beside Logan and grabbed the bottle of lube from earlier. "We have to lube you up so I don't hurt you," He said, carefully tugging off Logan's pants fully before tossing them to the floor. He then uncapped the lube and poured a bit into his hand.

Logan wanted to tell Patton that he didn't need the lube, that he was wet enough as it was for him, but he didn't. "F-Fine," He put his head back into the pillows and bit his lip hard. In such a state it was hard for him to think logically about things. He didn't want to ruin his first time having sex because his happy, horny ass didn't take the nessicary precautions to make sure everything went smoothly.

With a gentle hand, Patton spread Logan's knees. "Ready?" He asked with one hand on Logan's thigh.

"Mhm," Logan took in a breath, squeezing the comforter tightly in his hands. "Please."

First Patton rubbed the lube over his fingers, getting them all nice and slick. "Tell me if you want me to stop," He reminded before sliding a single finger into Logan's vagina.  _ "You're so wet,"  _ He softly exclaimed, slowly moving the finger back and forth inside of Logan.

The finger felt good, but with how wet Logan already was it went in easily and provided none of the relief he craved. He moved his hips with Patton's hand, trying to get more friction. Thankfully, Patton soon added a second finger inside of him and flexed them both. “You’re doing so good, Lolo.  _ So good.” _

Even though he wasn’t doing much of anything but laying there, Logan loved the compliment. It made his chest feel like it might burst with happiness, but also making him want to cover his flushed face with his hands to hide his embarrassment. But in the position they were in there was no room for embarrassment. “Thank you,” He gasped quietly.

With his two fingers already inside Logan, Patton used his thumb to brush against his clit. At that Logan moaned more loudly than he would have liked, he quickly covered his mouth with his hand. God, the line between being overstimulated and not being stimulated enough was getting thinner by the second.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Patton chided softly. He slowed the movement of his fingers, “Don’t be embarrassed, okay? I like hearing you…” He admitted, “There’s no one here but us, so don’t worry about making too much noise, m’kay?”

When Logan tried to speak he found that his voice wouldn’t come, all he could do was nod and remove his hand from his mouth. “O-Okay,” He finally managed, moving his hips down on Patton’s fingers, hoping that he would get the message that he didn’t want to stop.

“Okay,” Echoed Patton, he slowly slipped a third finger into Logan and leaned over him to kiss him on the mouth.

As he kissed him back, Logan wrapped his arms around Patton’s neck and used all the strength he could muster to hold Patton close to him. While Logan moaned into his mouth, Patton sped up his movements inside of Logan, pushing his fingers fast and deep inside of him and pulling them out slowly before going back in.

It felt so good to Logan but it still wasn’t enough. He had spread his legs as wide as he could just to better feel Patton’s fingers inside of him, but he wanted more. “Patton,” He begged, managing to detach their lips. “ _ Please.  _ I-I need you,  _ I really need you.” _

Looking at Logan carefully, Patton carefully removed his fingers from inside of him. “Are you sure?” He asked slowly, wiping his fingers on his thigh. “You don’t-”

But before he could finish, Logan cut him off, “Patton,  _ please _ ,” He breathed heavily. Now that there was nothing inside of him his emptiness was an ache all on it’s own. “I’ve never been more certain about anything. I would tell you if I wanted to stop, just  _ please.”  _ He begged, closing his eyes tightly for a moment, far past the point of being in a state of mind where he could even think of being embarrassed at how desperately needy he was.  _ “I want you,”  _ He opened his eyes, moving his hand to cup Patton’s cheek before leaning upwards to kiss him.

Kissing him back for a slow moment, Patton pulled away. "I want you too," He sighed quietly against Logan's lips. He sat back up on his knees and grabbed the bottle of lube again, squirting a fair amount into his hand. He then stroked himself, coating his cock in the lube. With his hand that wasn't covered in lube, he gently dropped the bottle on the floor.

Finally ready, Patton leaned back over Logan again. One of his hands was on the pillow beside his head while the other he was gripping his dick to better help direct himself into Logan. When he looked down at Logan, Logan nodded and wrapped his arms around his neck, holding his breath.

At Logan's consent, Patton carefully entered Logan. Once the tip was in, he sighed, moving his hand to the other side of Logan's head to keep himself steady above him.

As soon as Patton penetrated him, Logan shuddered. His grip around Patton's neck tightened and he pulled him closer, his breath hitching. Once Patton was completely inside him, Logan let his head fall back onto the pillows. The way that Patton filled him entirely, how he stretched his insides- Logan loved it beyond reason and wanted more. He moved his legs, wrapping them around Patton's waist and pulling him closer. He moaned softly when that made Patton's cock push deeper inside him. "I love you."

"I love you too," Said Patton quietly. It was easy for him to lean down and kiss Logan with the killer grip he had on his neck. As he kissed him, Patton began to slowly rock his hips, fucking Logan gently into the mattress.

They moaned into each other's mouths, and despite Logan's legs wrapped so tightly around him, Patton was able to move enough to pick up the pace. The harder he fucked Logan, the weaker the grip around his waist became until his legs were just wrapped loosely about him and his thighs were quivering.

Besides the pure pleasure at which he was feeling, only one thought was able to cross Logan's mind: his disbelief at how he ever let his own body imagery get in the way of experiencing something so  _ good  _ with the person who he loved most in the world.

With Patton whispering wonderful words of encouragement and compliments in Logan’s ear and fucking him so hard that he had to put a hand on the headboard just to keep it from banging against the wall, Logan never wanted it to end. He gasped and shuddered as Patton slowed to a tantalizingly slow speed just before picking back up and pounding so forcibly into him that Logan cried with relief.

It felt too soon for it to end, but Logan began to feel his climax building. His short nails dug into Patton's shoulders and his whole body shook every time Patton thrusted into him. "D-Don't stop," He just barely managed, almost too far out of his mind in pleasure to form a coherent sentence. "God, you- you feel so  _ good!  _ Please, please!" He begged, tripping over his own words as tears leaked slowly from his eyes.

Logan made enough sense to Patton though, because he quickened his pace, breathing heavily. "Cum for me, Lolo, you're doing so  _ good.  _ I know you can do it, baby. You're so beautiful right now, you can do it."

Patton's praise was the thing to finally push Logan over the edge. He cried out, pressing his forehead to Patton's shoulder. Once he orgasmed he could feel his vagina spasm around Patton's cock. Then after a few more thrusts, Patton pulled out and came on his stomach.

For a few moments the two just stayed as they were, attempting to catch their breath as their pleasurable high slowly evened out.

After taking a few breaths, Logan noted how muddled his head felt, like it was full of cotton. He assumed it would go away in a bit and gingerly sat up, Patton moving off of on top of him. "I loved that," He said quietly, his voice almost hoarse. He draped a loose arm over Patton's shoulder and kissed him. "I've- I love you, Patton."

Patton kissed Logan again, humming quietly against his lips. "I love you too, Lo'." He breathed. His eyes traveled down to the mess of cum he had left on Logan's stomach and he gave a quick frown. "Let me go clean you up real quick." Nodding, he kissed Logan one more time before leaving the bed and going to the small bathroom adjoined to the room.

Watching Patton go, Logan leaned his back against the pillows in his bed and sighed. His vision was blurry through his glasses, they had gotten all smudged up and sweaty. He took them off, put them on his nightstand, and closed his eyes. Logan felt his heart still beating wildly away in his chest and lazily brought his first two fingers to the side of his neck to count his heart rate.

Logan was still counting his heart rate when he felt Patton sit back down on the bed next to him and begin to clean off his stomach with a wet washcloth. His eyes fluttered open, his heart rate forgotten as he watched Patton. "I…" He began, struggling to find the right words. "Patton, I'm really thankful that you stayed with me so long even though you didn't know when- or if I was ever going to be ready to sleep with you."

Just as he finished cleaning up the mess on Logan's stomach, Patton looked up at him, slightly confused. "Lo-... I know a lot of guys might not have stayed with you because of that, but you don't have to thank me for it." With a shake of his head, he moved forward and pressed a kiss to Logan's forehead."I stayed, not banking on the hope that you would let me have sex with you, but because gosh darn it I am just so head over heels for you."

Smiling embarrassedly, Logan looked away from Patton. "The feeling is mutual," He slyly leaned forward and took Patton's hand in his.

Patton smiled back at Logan, then at their joint hands. He slowly brushed his thumb over the back of Logan's hand, "Do you want me to get you anything? A drink?" He brought Logan's hand to his lips and kissed his knuckles, "Looks like that took a lot out of you." He smirked.

Nodding, Logan glanced back at Patton. His skin still tingled with each of the kisses Patton placed to his hand, "Water would be nice."

Patton pressed one more kiss to Logan's hand before standing up. "You got it, baby." He grabbed his pants off the floor and quickly pulled them back on. Then he left for the kitchen with a little wave to Logan.

Logan's smile grew as he waved back to Patton as he exited the bedroom. Once he was gone, he peeked over the side of the bed and looked at the rest of their discarded clothes. He wanted to cover up but was too tired to put on anything, so he leaned over the bed and grabbed up Patton's shirt. The fabric was well worn and soft in his hands. As he ran his fingers over the grey material, Logan briefly hugged the shirt close to him. Even though Patton was only two rooms away- well, call him a sap but Logan didn't want to be away from him at all in that moment. He had just pulled on the oversized shirt when Patton was walking back into the room with a cold bottle of water in hand.

Sitting down next to Logan, Patton held out the bottle of water to him. "How do you feel?" He asked, wrapping his arm around Logan's shoulder once he took the bottle.

"Good," Logan cracked the lid open on the bottle and took a small sip. "I never thought that it felt that good. I just thought that books and movies just-" He shrugged, "Exaggerated it." He took another drink to avoid saying anything more on the subject and leaned into Patton's touch.

Taking off his glasses, Patton kissed the side of Logan's head as he leaned over to put them on the nightstand with Logan's. "I did my best for you," He murmured. "You weren't too bad either."

Blushing, Logan handed the water to Patton. "But all I did was lay there? I mean- you did all the work."

Patton took a quick swig of the water before handing it back to Logan who capped it and put it on his nightstand, which was quickly starting to become cluttered. "That's okay," He wrapped his other arm around Logan and nuzzled his cheek. "It was your first time, I didn't expect you to do the WAP and all of that."

Logan snorted with laughter, covering his face with his hands. "Dear, that's not-... You know what? It doesn't matter." He muttered through his fingers, taking a deep breath to calm himself down.

Patton just smiled at him, unaffected by his little burst of laughter. "And- and even if you like just laying there and letting me make you feel good, I don't mind. Whatever you like best, Logan."

Smiling, Logan turned over in Patton's arms and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. "Well, considering how our first try went today, I wouldn't be against trying out some different position. Maybe we could find one we both enjoy."

"I'd love that," Smiled Patton, he gave Logan a quick kiss. "But not as much as I love you."

Resisting the urge to look away from him in embarrassment, Logan kept eye contact with Patton. "I love you too, dear." He sighed happily, laying his head on his boyfriend's chest and feeling perfectly content if not just a bit tired.

Because even though Logan still regretted his embarrassment that kept him putting off having sex for so long, he was still happy that he overcame his embarrassment enough to enjoy himself. And while he still didn't know how he wanted his body to look like, he did find that the quickest way for him to feel better about his body (and just in general) was to give in and have sex with his boyfriend, who he would never trade for anything in the world.

**Author's Note:**

> THIS WAS JUST SUPPOSED TO BE A SOFT FIC WITH NON EXPLICIT SEX, I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED! I'm too asexual to be writing this stuff Jesus-bloody-Christ on the cross...
> 
> Comments are very much appreciated!!!


End file.
